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Hey.......Pt.1 Completed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 1:24 am
by Iron Maiden
This here is an aternate history I wrote. It is for something I am writing that has been a passion of mine for a while. Banged this out earlier today to try and give more depth to the story which I will hopefully this summer start to try to put into a screenplay format, as my writing style is more film oriented than simple reading. I will keep details vauge for now.

One thing to bear in mind is that in this I have sethuman history back 50 years. for example, WWII happens from 1989-1895, while the technology in the period is practically the same. After WWII, everything is fair game for me put my spin on. Enjoy, feedback wanted.

At the end of WWII in 1895, the ensuing cold war between Communist Russia and the United States brought forth unexpected problems with the control and rebuilding of Europe. The “end” if it could be called so, in 1941, left many Eastern European and Southwest Asian countries on unstable ground. This aided in the fueling of radical Islam, which had been growing since the late 1920’s. Following the loss on the part of the Middle Eastern Islamic confederation against the Israeli-Lebanese coalition in 1954, many countries fell towards radical Islam as a way hopefully out of the terms the coalition had placed upon them after the Peace of Beirut. The allegiance of these various countries, spearheaded by Iran, Saudi Arabia, and Syria, made the nation into a major political and economic force in the 1960’s due to its massive oil reserves, which it used to strangle the United States and other Western Powers in 1968, with ramifications reaching China as it too fell victim to its oil reluctance. This indirect effect led to a Chinese invasion of Afghanistan and Pakistan in 1969. With the entire coalition at war and with diplomacy useless, oil dependant nations such as the United States and other Western countries saw oil skyrocket to $5.50 per gallon on average. The result of this was a search for new energy resources as a stalemate began to take hold as Coalition forces continued to hold back Chinese forces in North and South Waziristan.
In 1974, With Chinese forces pushed back, India, which had stayed neutral during the fight, became engaged to secure oil fields in Saudi Arabia after its allies, Bahrain and the UAE, fell to internal pressure and joined the Coalition. With a fresh and better disciplined and equipped army and air force, Indian forces took a different approach and launched a naval invasion of Saudi Arabia and Oman. Pressured by its own people and economic misfortune, the United States along with a collection of other Western power joins India’s aid and begins an invasion of Jordan with the aid of Israel in late 1975. Syrian and Iraqi resistance forces managed to keep up a strong fight against the Western powers for two years until 1977 when a significant victory at the Euphrates River allowed for Western powers to march on Baghdad.
After the fall of Baghdad, Egypt, which also had managed to remain neutral but maintain trade with the Middle Eastern coalition, launches an invasion of Israel after coalition forces threaten to cut off its supply of oil. The attack on Israel leads to Western powers being forced to withdraw from a planned invasion of Iran to defend its Southern flank. At this time, Indian forces reach a stalemate as its Northern army is stopped again at Waziristan. However, while progress is slow, India’s stronger air force manages to eventually break through the area and send the Coalitions Eastern force routing across the Iranian border. India begins an invasion, but pauses it to deal with heavy losses in Saudi Arabia after a failed siege of Riyadh and heavy resistance to occupation in Bahrain. The UAE continues to put up a strong fight and manages to push south into Indian occupied Oman before being repelled after a desert ambush set up by traitors in the UAE military.
With Egypt pacified in early 1979, the Western powers once again turned to an invasion of Iran, which now was suffering raids by Indian forces after the UAE’s southern army was defeated. Following the loss of the Sinai peninsula to Western powers, effectively defeating the Egyptian military, both Indian and Western powers begin an assault on Iran, focusing all of their resources on a large scale pincer invasion against Iran’s strong land and air defense network. The diversion of their attention allows for the UAE to amass its military force once more as Indian forces close in on Tehran. But rebellion in Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan forces the Indian military to divert resources to defend its vulnerable North, leaving the Western powers a large burden in engaging Iran’s western army, which confronts the western forces with intricate and well dug in defenses.
Eventually however, the loss of many Saudi oil fields leads to a total collapse of Iran’s western army allowing for Western powers to move within 10 miles of Tehran before being forced to lay siege to the still well defended capital reinforced with large numbers of routing forces from the Western and eastern fronts. Indian requests leads to a series of attacks in early 1980 which result in high casualties on both sides before a combined assault by Indian and Western force finally captures the city in late February.
During the siege, a combination of American, German, and British scientists finally discovers an economically viable and easy to manufacture solution to oil shortages, which have grown larger since the Indian invasion of Saudi Arabia and Western capture of Iraq, with much oil being used to continue the fighting on both sides. The solution is a form of plasma created by magnetizing industrial plasma through a chamber, which creates a volatile yet rather easy to control form that can cause powerful burns and act in a manner similar to a bullet. Meanwhile, its acceleration can give objects high speeds at a quick pace. This realization begins research not only into how to make cheap and effective engines, but powerful weapons.
Pockets of resistance and continued rebellion to occupation leads to the temporary capture of Baghdad once again by Coalition forces, now centered in the UAE, Qatar, and South Kuwait. Weary of combat and weakened by years of conflict, Indian forces abandon offensive operations and focus more on securing the lands it holds. The Western powers do the same but continue to raid Coalition lands to ensure that no new offensive will arise. By late 1982, all is quiet, though not peaceful on the front.
Since 1979, United States space programs had been working on fast moving and large forms of space ships, which gained the military’s eye following the discovery of multi-function plasma. In November of 1982, the same research team finds a way to create an FTL jump drive. It is done by using an ultra cool down measure on the plasma drives which temporally allows the engines to move at near light speeds. Once this occurs, a ship can move into hyperspace. Since there are no physical rules in hyperspace, a ship can program how fast light is, and use its engines to move faster than light, thus making a ship able to travel large distances quickly. Research on this matter continues on for months as new plasma weapons are produced and prepared to be sent to the Middle East for use by Western powers, mostly the United States.
In early 1983, as the United States space program begins to use new plasma engines to establish colonies on the moon, Western powers, with the aid of recovered Chinese and Indian forces, begin an all out assault on the last Coalition pocket of resistance, having effectively destroyed all insurrectionist forces over the past few months. The fierce fighting nearly falls into another stalemate before new plasma weaponry arrives in April. The new weapons finally give Western forces the opportunity needed, and with no way of countering such weapons, Coalition forces retreat and surrender en masse. In May, United States, French, Indian, and Chinese forces close in on Dubai. After a weeklong street fight, during which time the first model of plasma tank is used, Coalition forces finally surrender on May 16th, effectively ending what is addressed now as WWIII. All Coalition countries are forced to sign a treaty with all other parties militarily involved in the war involving heavy donations of money and oil, though much of it is sent to reserves as plasma technology steadily becomes more prominent. The countries are given almost all the lands at their height before the war, but are forced to limit their military to only a small peacekeeping force and all industrial building must be approved by Federation powers. The Federation, at its beginnings, comprises of Great Britain, the United States, Germany, Israel, China, India, Brazil, and Australia. The federation is created to maintain peace throughout the world and to stimulate the hectic world economy. The stimulation is aided by more countries researching into plasma technologies and colonial growth on Luna and Mars, which contain resources pivotal for worldwide recovery.
In 1984, with a slightly stabilized economy, Federation powers, mostly India, the United States, China, and Britain, begin to focus more and more on colonies on Mars and Luna. The end of WWIII leads to a large surge in population across China, India, and the Western world. At this time, as near instantaneous space travel becomes available, research is put in to find ways to terraform Mars in a short amount of time rather than continuing on finding already hospitable planets elsewhere. The solution is presented in late June. This is to drill a nuclear bomb into a point near the poles, which, when detonated, will shift the planet enough to allow for the ice caps to melt, releasing oxygen, carbon dioxide, Nitrogen, and other gases to form a greenhouse effect. The operation, performed later that month, does the exact job, and later that year, basic plants are introduced to the planet. While these plants die at first, eventually seeds from these plants grow resistance to the iron rich Martian soil and begin to flourish in the carbon dioxide rich atmosphere, releasing oxygen as a result. This oxygen begins to slowly detoxify the oceans, though it is still inhabitable to fish, though single cell organisms and sea plants are introduced slowly. By 2049, high resilience fish are introduced, though iron levels still remain excessively high. Atmospheric levels of carbon dioxide are better dealt by high electrical currents which are caused by the storms made by the priming of sub surface iron by oxygen which, coupled with high Martian winds, create fierce electrical storms which chemically change the format of the air. In 2044, the air on Mars is declared “difficult, but safe to breathe”, meaning that while levels are low, and it is not recommended, humans can live without suits on the Martian surface, which is continuing to be terraformed by grasses, shrubs, and eventually trees.

Re: Hey

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 3:07 am
by Psychedelic Rhino
The thing that glares out to me is the absence of Japanese participation in your history, since they became a considerable variable in our 20' and 30's.

I suppose you could write them off somehow, early on in your revisionist history, by morphing something analogous to the Convention of Kanagawa.

Re: Hey

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 4:04 am
by Iron Maiden
While granted Japan is a promiant player, I think they are a little to far away to have done much, if anything. The reason the US is included is to its military presence in Europe and its leadership on the world stage. I am just glad you didn't take notice of the science at the end, cause I have no idea how it would actually happen.

Re: Hey

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 9:21 am
by Ded10c
With regard to the science, it seems mostly reasonable. The only two significant errors I can find after a brief read through are thus;

1. Plasma (generally considered the "fourth state of matter" despite there being more than sixteen) is formed by ionising gas.

2. The "no physical rules" thing seems a bit unusual to me.

Re: Hey

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 3:53 pm
by Iron Maiden
My theory behind the plasma ting is thus: (Bear in mind I suck at chemisty, so please be nice if this is a compleate fail.)

Plasma, like you said, is an ionized gas caused by the ionization of electrons. My belief, far fethched as it is, is that by magnetizing plasma ions you can have them draw together into a solid//liquid/gaseous state, or something. When it comes to weapons, charges of regular plasma are placed in a chamber. When a trigger is fired, a predetermined amount of this plasma is sent donw a miniaturized MAG, which magnetizes the plasma and thus renders it cabable of dealing a heavy blow. Maybe if someone has any intel on ISDF guntowers, that would be of help.

With hyperspace, I basically just figured that, since we have never been there, I could kinda go crazy on it. But my scientific belief is that hyperspace means "beyond space". If it is beyond space, it is not affected by Time or Energy, as one cannot exist without the other two. Since there is no time, you, who are in an object of regular space, can determine what certain speeds are. Thus, you could program light to be 5mph, and you are traveling 500, so are thus traveling 100 times faster than light.

Re: Hey

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 5:39 pm
by Psychedelic Rhino
Iron Maiden wrote: I am just glad you didn't take notice of the science at the end, cause I have no idea how it would actually happen.
The science may or may not need work, and it's perfectly ok to use a broad brush early on. If you're going to lean a bit more on the fantasy side, à la Ray Bradbury, and not hard sci-fi, you're pretty much good to go.

Re: Hey

Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 5:56 pm
by Zero Angel
Iron Maiden wrote:With hyperspace, I basically just figured that, since we have never been there, I could kinda go crazy on it. But my scientific belief is that hyperspace means "beyond space". If it is beyond space, it is not affected by Time or Energy, as one cannot exist without the other two. Since there is no time, you, who are in an object of regular space, can determine what certain speeds are. Thus, you could program light to be 5mph, and you are traveling 500, so are thus traveling 100 times faster than light.
Actually hyperspace is affected by time and energy, it's just that such things that seem dynamic in our space is much more static in hyperspace -- just as a 2D photograph in our time is much more static than a 3D model or even a 4D model (a 3d model with the extra dimension 'time' applied to it, such as a holograph). It could very well be that possible realities that exist in our dimension are just a static picture (like a photograph) in a higher dimension (such as a 5D space-time).

I think the idea behind hyperspace travel is to use quantum mechanics to 'pull' yourself out of regular 3D space (at a quantum or string level) and move through a tunnel in 4D space (or 5D space-time), in that way you bypass the physical limitations of 4D space-time (such as light speed).

Something tells me though that 5D space-time does not actually exist as a usable reality though since it only adds one dimension to it which in itself may be an extension of the time dimension (such as 'possibilities', where all possible configurations of something are encoded into the space) and that it, itself must have a spatial structure that can be navigated without constantly bumping into the things that exist on the lower (4D space-time) dimension. At least when you think of it that way, super string theories which propose 11 dimensions don't seem so absurd.

Re: Hey

Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 2:45 am
by Iron Maiden
More stuff, scienetific stuff pertaining to terraforming and the basic workings of the federation:

Upon the nuclear detonation at the Martian pole, research was put in to find a way to colonize other prominent locations such as Europa, Enceladus, and Titan. Each of these areas had various difficulties in colonization. China led development with a risky plan to make Europa terraformed. This was to ignite the upper layer of Jupiter’s atmosphere which would give off heat to melt Europa’s massive ice sheet. Topographical analysis shows that the melting would lead to an 80% oceanic world, with a few large, distant land masses. The plan, implemented in March of 1990, succeeded well, and the ensuing warmth given off by the outer layer of Jupiter is enough to aid in the green housing of Mars and a cool down of Earth cause by high amounts of black powder in the atmosphere. The ocean is ideal for cold water fish, such as cod, haddock, and salmon, which are rabidly introduced and thrive in the nutrient rich water. By 2049, over 21 million people inhabit Europa, roughly the same as Mars.
Titan proves more challenging. While initial plans to burn the methane in the atmosphere to create water which will be used to siphon of Oxygen and Nitrogen is planned, it is never fulfilled. Instead, a slow and tedious process of chemical conversion is used to turn the methane into hydrogen, while slowly burning small amounts of methane for carbon dioxide to greenhouse the planet and water for oxygen. By 2049, Federation scientists claim that in 17 more years, the air will be similar to Mars, difficult, but possible to breathe. Titan’s large size and resources make it an ideal area for which the Federation establishes a strong military presence and monitors the outer solar system.
Enceladus is instead simply colonized through underground bunkers. Large underground complexes are established which use local ice and liquid water under the moon’s surface to live, with other supplies brought in or grown on complexes underneath the moon’s ice sheets.
After a devastating raid on a trade lane in 1991, the following year, the Earth Federation issues the creation of the ESEDF, the Earth Space Exploration Defense Force, designed with protecting ships and keeping order in a growing federation, by this time including France, Italy, Russia, Spain, Indonesia, New Zealand, and Canada. All federation countries are similar to the European Union, in that they all require just one passport to enter. However, each country retains its own currency while a Federation one is in circulation, thus allowing for each country to economically stay afloat while still supporting the others, so that, hopefully, no country will economically sink. Each country gives what resources it can to the Federation, which is headed by 50 representatives in 2049, 2 from each nation. These representatives are elected by the people of their country for 4 year terms to represent the intentions of that country towards the federation and to oversee Federation workings in those countries. However, each country is expected, upon the 1st ESEDF’s fleet’s commission, to supply at least 500 soldiers to the ESEDF annually. In return, ESEDF forces are given to aid in stability in the nations and in recovery of many still affected by WWIII.


1st fleet: Commissioned in 1992 as first fleet of the ESEDF in order to maintain a militaristic and governing force in space as the Earth Federation begins to exert its power over the colonies of Mars, Luna, and Titan.
Super carrier: Alexander
Carriers: Tomahawk, Vengeance, London
Battleships: Glory, Intrepid, Brutus, Jamestown
Cruisers: Mughal, Clairvoyant, Aztec
Destroyers: Shogun, New York
Hunters: Ninja, Eclipse

Admiral in 2049: Lewis Romano

Re: Hey

Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 9:26 am
by Ded10c
That last bit comes across well. Also, there is no need to magnetise plasma - since it has been ionised, it already has an electromagnetic charge.

Re: Hey

Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 10:56 pm
by Iron Maiden
Next installment:

In 1998, during an economic slump and due to a lack of proper representation, a rebellion occurs on Luna. This becomes the first major event to be countered by the ESEDF. Fighting is brief, and lasts only 1 month, during which time casualties amount to 7,700, mostly rebel soldiers, 1/6 of the Luna colonies inhabitants. The rebels are poorly equipped against the new ESEDF, using state of the art weaponry and having “air” superiority. At a battle on the Marius hills, ESEDF forces, numbering just 500, with the aid of 40 aerospace fighters, encircle and destroy the main rebel force of 4,000, bent on taking an ESEDF installation 30 miles north. The conclusion leads to the treaty of Copernicus crater, resulting in the first major victory for the ESEDF and a demonstration of the power of the Federation. The victory also draws Kenya and Mexico into the Federation, increasing its power and influence. Also, in response to the rebellion and piracy on smaller Saturnian moons, the EF commissions the creation of the second ESEDF fleet to better defend colonies and maintain order during small scale rebellions towards the Federation on colonies and Earth itself, with local police forces and militaries drastically ill equipped to deal with advanced weaponry of the ESEDF stolen from convoy ships from increased raids.

In 2002, as the Federation gains excessively high powers, the United States drafts a bill for its representatives to propose to the Federation board to cut back on high command powers, the high command consisting of 11 officials elected for life, normally Federation sovereign rulers. The proposal is for the ESEDF to release some of its weapons to Federation states to be used and to give further freedom to independent traders, with small companies being bought out by the federation. Though the high council resists, the threat of the United State’s withdrawal leads to the proposal’s passing. However, Santiago Fernando, a high council leader and president of Spain, dissatisfied with the proposal, funnels money away from ESEDF funds towards amassing a rebel force to strike at major ESEDF complexes in retaliation, joined by his own representatives and those of Italy, Russia, and Indonesia. The scheme is revealed however when a trade ship carrying stolen weapons is pirated on its way to Enceladus, during which time the ESEDF Mughal arrives, and inadvertently discovers the plot while accessing the ships records. All those involved are arrested, and Spain, whose entire government allowed for the incident to occur, is punished with enormous fines.

In 2010, a large solar flare causes a massive short circuit across earth, parts of the moon, and Mars. The ensuing chaos leads to a depression not seen since the 1870’s. Colonies like Enceladus, Titan, and the mining colony on Io, begin to take serious economic losses and chaos ensues due to unemployment and lack of resources. The ESEDF’s 1st and 2nd fleets become stretched in dealing with rebellion and widespread looting. While measures are taken to destroy piracy, which meets good success in 2012, the damage of the 2010 solar flare continues to disrupt peace throughout the Federation. Even after most electrical is restored and the colonies affected structurally recover, economic pitfalls continue to ravage the colonies. In 2013, the EF commissions the 3rd fleet. Due to what is perceived of a lack of reason and a misuse of funds, public anger is heard en masse. This results in the Europa uprising of 2015, involving Europa, Io, Enceladus, and various Saturnian and Jupiter base colonies in an open revolt against the Federation, feeling the colonies themselves must be heard more in the EF senate, having no naturally born on colony senators in the senate and no way for them to be heard than by contacting their representatives belonging to the country of their origin. The rebels are aided by various pirate groups, threatened by the Federations growing power. With rebellions on Earth and Mars also, much of the ESEDF’s 1st and 2nd fleets are too occupied to deal with the uprising, which temporarily leads to the formation of independent outer colonial state, though this leads also to political instability in rebel lands, allowing for the ESEDF to slowly assert its authority. In August, the 3rd fleet is finished construction and is immediately dispatched to deal with the rebellion, which is gaining popularity on the inner colonies for the time it has survived and its audacity. The fleet, using new, improved weaponry and now bearing the latest class of heavy assault tank, easily pushes back the entire rebel force during an advance on Callisto. During the next 2 months, rebel forces flee at the sight of the fleet, withdrawing back to behind Saturn’s ring. In early November, the rebel force decides to make a final push against the Federation, with forces from the 2nd fleet scheduled to come to the third’s aid later that month. They draw the 3rd into an ambush at Jupiter’s moon, Thebe by fabricating surrender. Though it works to an extent, the third fleet manages to push back and eventually trap the rebel fleet, which outnumbers the 3rd 3-1, and annihilates it. Surrender is discussed several days later on the federations terms on Europa itself. The rebellion becomes a defining moment of the ESEDF, securing its authority over the colonies. The 3rd takes considerable loses during the battle though, losing the Timbuktu and with ships such as the Iroquois taking considerable damage. Never the less, peace is restored. The day after the treaty is signed, in a cruel twist of fate, the Federation stock exchange shoots up immediately from 9,800 to over 13,000, effectively restoring the economy and people’s faith in the federation.


2nd fleet: Commissioned in 2001 to cull increased piracy and terrorism on EF colonies and to protect and restore various trade routes which had been abandoned or occupied since the Luna rebellion in 1998. First fleet to have ships travel past Titan to begin and protect mining and resource colonies on Triton and other Neptunian moons.

Super carrier: Caesar
Carriers: Leonidas, Germanicus, Tours
Battleships: Frederich, Templar, Salvation, Iroquois
Cruisers: Retribution, Maya, Timbuktu
Destroyers: Han, Visigoth
Hunters: Esquire, Mariana

Admiral in 2049: Ying Chu

3rd fleet: Commissioned in 2013 to deal with growing insurrection against the EF on outlying colonies due to economic hardships and a lack of proper acknowledgment in the EF senate. Leads battle against Europan insurrectionist movement in 2016 climaxing in the battle of Thebe, where Insurrectionist forces are annihilated, but at the loss of the Timbuktu and serious damage to the Iroquois and other ships, all of which are repaired and reinstated. ESEDF’s most often used battle fleet.

Super carrier: Attila
Carriers: Marathon, Phobia, Paris
Battleships: Da Vinci, Camelot, Understanding, Saratoga
Cruisers: Austria, Israel, Xia
Destroyers: Conquest, Maratha
Hunters: Deception, Enigma

Admiral in 2049: Samuel Jacobs

Re: Hey

Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 9:34 pm
by Iron Maiden
Final installment of the prehistory, this leads up to the beginning of my book/screenplay, starting in 2049, if you've been wondering.

Following the defeat of the uprising, the Federation begins a small golden age, with massive scientific and economic progress done; allowing the colonizing of more and more moons across the solar system, and eventually a colony on Pluto is established. Large amounts of resources gathered from these various moons leads to prosperity never before seen in human history. By 2049, Federation census workers calculate the total population to be 8.7 billion, situated mostly on Europa, Mars, Titan, and Earth. The end result of the Europa uprising leads to little resistance as the Federation expands its power, by 2049 having inducted South Africa, Thailand, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Portugal, Greece, Chile, Argentina, Japan and Egypt, being the first Middle Eastern country to join the Federation. The Federation becomes the dominant force on Earth by 2049, a form of world government and security force but still allowing optional admittance and remaining neutral for the most part in world affairs.


In January of 2049, plans are made to make the first trans-planetary system long jump in history. It is to a recently discovered star system previously blocked by the light of Sirius. However, a strong Kuiper belt telescope manages to detect the system through thermal imaging due to an anomaly in Sirius’ revolution. The telescope also detects at least four planets, all of which seem to contain atmospheres rich in oxygen and nitrogen. With the recently commissioned 4th fleet ready finished and eager to begin branching out of the solar system, the federation issues a command to send the exploration ship Hudson to investigate the system. On May 30th, the Hudson makes a series of jumps to the system and establishes a base on its surface. For 7 days, the Hudson and its ground base investigate the first planet in the system, dubbed Ectoclopsys for a sticky substance found on arrival and for its many craters. The planet is a desert, with some major rivers and waterways and small seas, in many ways resembling the Mojave Desert. However, on June 6th, contact with the base is lost, and the Hudson is found having jumped back into the outer reaches of the Sol system brutally damaged and reporting heavy attack by an unknown enemy. Fearing the worst, the Federation high council unanimously declares to investigate and sends both its 2nd and 3rd fleets to investigate.


4th fleet: Commissioned in 2047 as a reserve fleet in the ever growing ESEDF as population on colonies explodes exponentially following the Insurrectionist civil war near 20 years before. Proves instrumental in the keeping of order in the EF during the Treasconi conflict.

Super carrier: Washington
Carriers: Zoroaster, Prussia, Mozart
Battleships: Ticonderoga, Yuan, Romanov, Victory
Cruisers: Immaculate, Churchill, Mali
Destroyers: Ferdinand, Inca
Hunters: Subterfuge, Navajo

Admiral in 2049: Abhay Jaywant

Re: Hey

Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 9:45 pm
by Clavin12
Those are some funky names you got there.

Re: Hey

Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 10:25 pm
by Iron Maiden
Thank you, I felt I needed an Indian name to balence things out when it came to the admirals.

Re: Hey

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 8:32 pm
by Psychedelic Rhino
Reads pretty good as a synopsis. Now it's time to add some characterization to pull our heart strings 8-)

Re: Hey

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 8:46 pm
by Iron Maiden
And there will be, this is more so just an prolouge. During summer I will start serious work on this, and introduce you to my world......