My Attempt at a "Battlezone" type track

[joker]

Hello people.

I attempted to make a track with a Battlezone type feel and this is what I came up with.

Actually this is really just the base of the beat but I thought it was worth to post it just to get some opinions to see if iI'm on the right track.

Heres the link:
https://soundcloud.com/phatgreen/fewer-mistakes-wip

I just realized how quiet it is, you might need headphones to even hear it, sorry about that.

If it sucks, then it sucks, let me know. Thanks!

[General BlackDragon]

Not bad.

[Ded10c]

Two tips with the snare - first, it needs bringing up a bit. Second, pitched snares are generally worth avoiding; find one that sounds right and stick with it.